resurfaced only to be slapped down again, and the determination is there; evident by the fact that we dont stop coming back up for air. if only there is a plug, a drain to let this whirlpool out. every round reminds me of what im sadly not.
sound of morning sound of ringing and sounds of travel
excite. if only for a while.
so what happens today is not up to me entirely. at least not the decision made. im feeling stressed, and weary. it's easy to say out. it's easy to just say. fullstop.
make it yellow, make it clean. take a picture, smile at least. for that moment, encaptured and not so plastic. because happier dont always seem like it. because it is much more easier to pretend than tell the freaking truth. sometimes anyway. you will get what i mean.
i want to be early, i want to be good for this. but disappointments and 'life of nadiah' seems to go so well. the ever optimist in me left because it was no longer needed. sometimes lonely can be happy, and content. and sometimes badluck works. trust me, this is not me being suicidal.
two days in a row now without conversations. i can handle it. not sure about the other cliche party. it's just been two months plus now. how come it felt longer. then again, it always has felt longer to us. what us. yeah okay.
you really dont expect me to be completely fine do you.
oh boo hoo, what do you care.
maximopark's doing it in for me.
oh come on, just rain.