i have no idea why i thought december would be better. maybe because it was a different month from october & november, maybe because i thought my badluckstreak would end when the month ended, maybe because i had a few things planned, things that involved meeting good people and erm, shopping. but now it looks like all things planned shall just remain... all things planned.
theoffice people wrote out a cheque to nadiahbinteabdulyusoff. not mohd yusoff like it should be, but abdulyusoff (!!) so the colleagues joked that they found my real father for me, ha-not-funny-ha. this is never funny, because i really need moolah, dammit. the urge to just yell out chibai is forever there, dont mention the joke again, ever.
back to eating scraps, and not eating.
(and ady gave me encouragement and told me about being patient when thrown into life's obstacles and challenges because he heard from some qualified preacher that it just means that God is testing you and that God knows you're alive. i have no idea what to say to that, whether to believe it so much. i dont want to sound blasphemous, so shush me up and thinkwhatyouwant.)
it seems really easy to escape. it even sounds better. and i was going to take you up on that bali thing, marmarinara, because it sounds far away. we'll just wait and see? let's.