maybe im making nothing out of nothing. maybe im just churning up things, thoughts, words whatever. maybe the things that im thinking are just thoughts unworthy of making something of. either way, i do know that i just want to say it and then be reassured.
im too hard on myself. my primary school teacher told me that in primary one when i cried because i got one mark short of a full mark in a test. erm, okay nad. must be all the medicine they tested on me when i was a little bouncing kid.
too little pics. pictures of hype 20 party are up.
he's happy with me, i think that was the question i posted to him.
i'm fine if you're wondering. we're okay. those were just words chalked up back when, on the couch. edited and filtered, you know how i work. i keep it bottled up inside and displayed in a rack above all the hurt. till we meet again, till the water evaporates clean.
Follow me down to the laughing city, with people changing all their minds; it's crazy. I want this ma'am, that ma'am, no sir, yes ma'am that sir. Well, I'll tell you one thing, if you're keep something... Then hold on, hold on the to the ones you love. Hold on, hold on to the ones you love. (laughing city, Eisley)
amidst all this stress i feel, people are still winning and im just the only one stuck here. smells of jasmine and snow musk. eating a frozen birthday cake. the birthday boy's partying and drunk somehere up north. they're all chummy now, i hate the presence of it.
i cant wait to own the keys to the four wheels.
when the clouds come rolling and churning by. the sun wouldnt have enough time to speak. from different views of a situation of time to come, i cannot say much. headaches.
but they are they are they are giving me the creeps. dark nights hold tight and sleep tight my baby. morning light shall burst bright and keep us here safely. (marvelous things, Eisley).
moments and choices let us be what we want. but sometimes, i hardly think that's enough. i want more, and i only ask it from myself.