i have trouble sleeping. i have trouble breathing.
i have trouble shitting in the morning.
i have trouble relating. seems like there is no need to.
i have trouble smiling to smartworking men when they smile at me.
(it's not that they're not cute. it doesnt matter to me anymore anyway. men break hearts no matter how ugly they are.)
i'm having trouble shutting out these voices in my head, the same voices that wouldn't allow me to forget&letgo.
i'm having trouble keeping myself upbeat and professionally accomodating when the occassional wave of misery seeps through. sometimes they see it, and won't say a thing. except to crack jokes and show me hints of affection, each time trying to help me find the shiny glint again.
it's tiring me out.