it suddenly snapped and bounced back to the balls of my feet. painful, but thankful.
how do i put this uncomplicatedly:
seeing that there is no hope, no movement, no significance, made it easier to let go. and that in itself made it much more easier not to break. turns out burying is not really automatic after all.
i wasnt sad about anything else but the letting go part. damn. im an obsessive okay; i hate to be not included. but, this was (dare i say it) one of them things i dont want to be included in and i couldnt seem to tear myself apart even though ive tried hard to be separated from the whatEvers (or insert other appropriate word here).
but i did it eventually, and you won't see past posts anymore. theyre all gone, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. this is something new, and something ive been wanting to do.
a lighter load. now this, i can easily take.