...and yet i smile as if happy hour has arrived.
but after everything the shitty things stay. they stay.
why is it im not able to get out of my rut no matter how many freaking times i try. and when i do, even for one small fleeting minuscule moment, something else will come falling to crashcourse me back to disaster once again. this hole is getting deeper, and im getting smaller.
i hate it when i have no answer. i hate it when i dont have the energy to even think of an answer because every ounce of strength i have is used to stop me from sinking deeper. im beginning to hate me.
(p.s: shai, the aftertaste of your entry is killing me.)