it wasnt a sad thing, going to the jetty and taking back a piece of mind. i wanted to cry when i chose to go there today, but instead, i laughed. i giggled and i laughed and i couldnt stop laughing. i think it was the pouring rain.
this fisherman looked like he was expecting me to jump into the water any moment. until i started smiling. then he slowly backed away and stood a distance behind me.
and walking around marvelling, staring at the sky dropping them raindrops and watching the trickling water is fabulous and highly recommended. i didnt want to stop. and isnt it just pure coincidence that he was somewhere around there at that particular moment.
oh what are the chances (here's where you insert all the crappy phrases related to such sob story stuff).
here's what i learnt today: the difference between actually being happy and pretending to be happy is that the latter is exhausting while the former is exhilarating.
now who's to say i dont try to cheer myself up?
then the relapse of course, and the painful realisation that we are nothing more than friends as if someone pulled the plug, pressed the reset button, turned back time... you get the picture. it finally hit me.
it makes me feel better to know that i dont need food to cheer me up.
some sort of personal release, really.
so what now, i feel much better, and then the next relapse?
man, this is beginning to be like an addiction, and im addicted to... misery.