Thursday, October 27, 2005

move in very quietly.

ok wow. a conversation that means alot after a long emotional battling day. i had a thing with a thing and i couldnt get it out of my head because i am just like that, and i felt violated because i felt that my feelings werent being respected, but okay. i might be wrong, then that's when gut feeling came in, and gut feeling said you'dbetterworry. this is going to be... interesting.

im sorry for blowing off at you theonewholosttheredspecs.
i just didnt know how to tell you what i feel without you getting offended.
or anything within that area.

so imisshim, and i made him send me back in his ultra new revamped dearambellina. pictures will be up tomoro. for now im in a rush. but it will make you go woah. i did, and he made me walk like a blindman, leading me the way, then wa wa weee wow.

so we sat and talked like usual, only abit different. because this time, we talked about our exs. yes we did. im not sure what im feeling right now, but i wanted to know how he feels and that's important because it is. it was so civilised- no yelling, no angry faces, no 'i dont wanna hear about her' crap. just two people talking and hearing each other out.

and no matter which side of gender you're on, being dumped sucks.

so im worried because she looks nothing like me (i.e: she's very pretty, and i look like shit). so im jealous because my ex refuses to make contact with me. so im a little bit hesitant when he said he still cares about her, but he dont love her. and so i get a little paranoid when he talks about meeting her, and a no my answer will be.

still, i like it like this. it's like we can talk about anything, and we're still here. together. the paranoia will come, and maybe little accusations but you just have to prove me otherwise, not chuck me aside. i want to be included.

and the cafe that black co-owns has really nice interior. classy and relaxed. i didnt realise how much i missed them till i sat down with them and laughed till i nearly peed.

what a freakishly cold weird night.

I. O. U. upcoming weeks.

+ t-shirt design for camp committee . + get better. + 2 camp meetings . + newsletter meeting. + Tao Nan Carnival . + le open house . + ...