right, typing as fast as i am because im actually not supposed to use now, because he's using , but he's away, out, void deck, do i look like i care where. i want to be able to write all this junk im thinking, so boo him, he has the laptop.
tutoring was enlightening. it made me realize how i like maths, and it came to me quite easily. english is a no-brainer and english is as fun as it gets. besides art that is, but art is a lifelong subject. i had fun, (did you?), and we didnt realize how the time passed, despite the birthday party at macdonalds. we were too engrossed.
left eye is red, and oh, the straits times say beware of dengue fever and those darn mosquitos. dengue can kill really, and it's a slow heartwrenching process which will result in you bleeding from every open space (eye ears yadayada). God, just let it be far from us.
i did what i wanted to today, and rivervalley was place of choice. i missed them and there, and huge spaces, and even the toilet because clementi has none that are clean. 'you're not welcome, you're clementi property,' he said, yet we jostled and teased like old friends. two more complimentary passes this time to 'a perfect catch'. im hoping for corpse bride or be with me tickets soon. that would be dreamy.
then the downside is that i wont have that interview a friend set me up with because of this 5 month place and considerateness. they want it immediate and i cannot do that to them; manpower is tight already.
dinner with a couple of laughs thrown in sums up my friday night. stares and irritating couples doing 'peek-a-boos' at each other is just plain moronic.
and it is ironic how roles that should be preserved are reversed and what would it take the other to realize the absence of a partner, except when the partner is gone. one always seeks what one got but let go. do you dig?
gritting my teeth but not bracing for the worst because this is not so bad, i just have to slack on caring. and how does one not care when one actually does; such the tribulations of women.
i am not ready for marriage. no you gossipmongers, no one proposed. the thought came zipping by while looking at a blank tv screen. im not ready for it, financially, and emotionally. dont mock me because i didnt mention physically- i think everyone is ready for sex (married or not) because that is human nature, like animals. im still a virginlah, if that's what you're wondering.
i digress.
point is, how stoopid i was to think that i would be ready to marry some man by the time im 19, when im not. responsibility is too big and there's always the subject of spending a lifetime with one. for us women that is. dont get me started on polygamy. i was so sure and now im soooo not. i fear spending my life alone. then again, dont everybody.
i think i hear the keys; he's opening the door.