the working boy wanted me to send him yesterday but i didnt, even though i had plenty of time. im not sure why i said no, citing time and distance are lame excuses. it wasnt until the card has been tapped that i changed my mind. oh, how apt; the train left the station by then. i had to be content with calling the tired working boy and pacifying him because he was feeling kinda down.
in that sense, i think i make a pretty lousy girlfriend.
the rains are coming back to embrace us. and i wonder when we'll meet proper. i wonder if we'll even plan at all. do know that i miss us, we, them, good times. i miss when we thought, planned and visioned forever together.
either way, i cannot wait for friday. dont give a damn if it rains.
a summarise of short thoughts. he's just a big piece of lard, who doesnt do any work. why are you doing this for him? sometimes he is of no importance to me, no feeling revoked. i only think of puking. injustice is mirrored in your actions.
Destiny is either a three-eyed, five legged hairy monster hiding under a bridge waiting for its time to be unleashed OR a gorgeous man with gorgeous personality and an even gorgeous bank account. if you think abourrit, why do we do the things we do if destiny and fate has already been written for us. why the need to dream if it's already written what it is you're going to do/be doing. but of course, these things might change. might being hopefully and change, hopefully for the better.
they say it's 'for the better'. im not sure how what we're doing now will affect our future, but apparently it just does. hush now, please dont say that.
how do you know you're not looking at a fake? look at it now, and tell me the truth. are you what you are or are you what you're not. tell me tell me and then agree.
im one of a kind and i know it. it's not ego, no no. it's reassurance. so i can tell myself that when everyone's gone and im left alone. you're not how you are alone, trust me. you're somehow different. maskless.
peanut butter cookies are driving me nuts. but writing soothes me so it's erm, balanced.
all i wanted to say today was how hard i tried. looking at where i am now, i guess i didnt try hard enough. didn't is such a negative word.