today for the first time in a long time, i liked the way i look in the mirror. notice, liked? it lasted just up until the part where i realised that im not going to meet him. for the first time i feel quite good (despite lacking sleep) but no one is here to meet me. i hate the moments where i have to entertain myself on the way back home. i hate the moments when listening to the mp3 dont seem enough.
it looks like it's about to rain and im anticipating it, though i hate to anticipate. im hating too many things today, try not to take notice.
i miss the many bus rides together though i know we just did that on monday. notice how much i need that? sometimes dependency is sweet but sometimes, dependency irks the hell out of me. i dont know what happened. i rely on myself for a little bit of happiness, for accompaniment but not anymore i guess. im not sure why, though right now i want to. i guess im too tired to cheer myself up. oh, the lack of money adds to it too.
ahh, bloody teeth. i have this strong urge to eat chilli crab, stupid teeth full of unwisdomful crap. fyi, there's no such word as unwisdomful, i made it up.
the things and places ive come to love sometimes feel like strangers.