had a slight bout of diarrhoea in the morning, went to sch to meet mary ann and marina. discussed, dissed people and went our separate ways. town for marina, home for maryann, bangkit road for me.
i gave tuition today to my going-to-be cousins. one's 11, the other's 9 but neither of them know how to spell police. it was easy, yes. but it was hard to make them learn because a) they're so bouncy and easily distracted b) they're always competing with each other to please me c) i have to explain everything in malay (that's effing hard) and d) they take such a long time to write a sentence (no, not because they dont know how to write but because they want everything to be perfect and spotless). but la di da, another lesson on friday.
he didnt call me or sms me but i was fine with that. heh. im always fine with that. sometimes it's just quite sickening you know, walking around alone, with the mp3, skipping along, singing la di da. it's okay, im fine. we'll meet tomorrow, there's always time tomorrow.
had nowhere to go after tuition. had the itch to spend my money but i had no money to spend. sounds stoopid, but what's new. went to Lot 1 (Old chang kee's not that nice), walked around, went to west mall, walked around some more, but believe it or not, there was nothing for me to buy. i have the 'if it's above $15, it's waaaay to effing expensive' syndrome.
walked around the shops around bukit batok central not knowing where to go. i mean, i know i shouldnt waste my time because i have a lot of work to do, but, there was just something that i needed to do, you know? nevermind. i dont need for you to know.
i didnt realise that i bought something until i stepped out of this shop with a nice auntie and i saw in my right hand that i was carrying a plastic bag. checked my wallet, and realised that i spent $20 and i didnt even realise it. the fuck.
met mr mexican singer and curlyhaired son. the old dude said havent seen you in a while. 'yeah, havent seen u in a while too,' said i. he said 'been busy, i took a break'. he nodded at me with a solemn face. (yah, like i would understand). the cute little guy with eyes so huge you just want to poke them and eat them with a spoon said 'i like your belt. it's so nice. so stylo mylo'. at that moment, i thought i could just put him in a bottle, keep it at home and display him because he sounds so adorable. he asked 'what kind of belt is it.' and i said huh? how many kind of belts you know? and he said well it looks like a plastic belt. erm, doh nad, doh. said my goodbyes to them, switched on my mp3 and la di da-ed to it.
this guy was walking behind me and he tsked at me a couple of times. apparently coz he wanted to overtake me but i was distracted. i was looking up at the sky at the moon at the stars. i stood on the steps across the street, stretched out my hands and looked towards the sky. people kept staring so i turned to them and said 'what? never see someone looking at the moon is it?' bodoh nak mampos.
i hate people who just walk in in the night, without looking around, or looking up. they're such wasteful people, they're missing out on a lot of things and someday they're gonna say, man, i wish ive seen this and seen that when in actuality (that word has just been in my mind) they're given this opportunity now but never seem to grasp that chance. i dunno what i was feeling (or am feeling, whichever one).
saw some neatly arranged new motorbikes parked together. i wanted to kick it down, so that i can hear the smack of the new crisp thingies-whatchamacallit on the motorbike when they hit each other and hit the road.
some special forces people were at the bus interchange just now, holding their big guns. walked past them because there was no other places to past and they started wooing me and asking for my number. the fuck? i'd rather not have these stoopid 'protecters' knowing that without or with them around i would still feel unsafe. they make no difference in our lives; spend the effing money on something else. sheesh. somebody needs to get our country a new financial planner.
saying all the above is supposed to make me feel better, but i still feel the same. i dont think i care.
i was wishing that i met someone i knew just now, so i could just shake their hand, say nice things but not smile, like im really miserable to see them and they dont make me feel better at all. i feel that that would be fun, no? sometimes seeing someone's pain really can calm someone else down.
lucy in the loo was on repeat. i cannot get enough of their songs. it's like, so bloody addictive.
im going to stare into blank space and try to think about my work now. dont bloody mind me, because i wont mind you...