during script tutorial on wednesday, everyone had to read out assignment one; which was to write about a childhood memory. i heard everyone else's but i dunno why man's memory of his childhood is still fresh in my mind.
(note: no offense to anyone, im just writing down what i think. and dont judge him by what im writing. he's more than tt.)
he mentioned something about believing in himself more than God because God wasn't there when he needed Him. that got me thinking about the times when i myself felt angry because i wasnt heard by Him, because He wasn't there when i truly need him.
i know i shouldnt do that, i know i must never question why He do this and why He do that. but sometimes it is frustrating. people always say 'serahkan pada Tuhan' but years down the road things are still the same. after a while i get jaded especially since i do everything He says but someone who dont, have more than what i have. but ive never stopped believing in Him. I just get angry at him (though i have no right). writing about Him always brings tears to my eyes.
right then, at the tutorial class, i said to myself that He has His reasons, maybe my turn will never come, it's okay i can live with that but i hope that one day things will get better.
right now, sitting here in front of the comp, i cant help but smile. i feel so blessed.
my dad's got a bonus higher than any other year, we got our SCV back, we got a free digicam, my sis is getting a new hp, my mom finally have money to advertise for her wedding decor business, my family has enough money to help my uncle get married, my mom's business is finally picking up and we can finally shop (though little, at least we can shop).
sometimes just when you think He's abandon you, your life changes for the better.