i really badly wanted that vacation. to just leave my life and go someplace that dont know who i am or where im from. and i wont know anybody either, so we'll all just concentrate on us and ourselves for once. i just want to not be restricted, not that i am, but i feel like i am. im bad at this explaining thing lah. but cant we just be somewhere far away. really far.
my aunt deduced that im protective, of everyone i know, and why is that. i have no idea. heartfelt talks about people we care the most called family. cant live with them, and we're shit without them. yah yah, no matter how much you disagree, everyone goes back to family. full stop.
so im broke again, but what's new. saving money and eating at home. i am so not used to that.
i feel so stupid, man. i dunno where all this warped feelings are coming from. lack of caffeine maybe? im drinking milo, dammit. milo! i havent drank milo since secondary school. weird taste. tapi 'minum milo anda jadi sihat dan kuat!'
'so ke mana arah tujuan kamu encik nadiah?' asks the grim reeper.
i dont get it why malay kids have to say sial all the time. ALL THE TIME.
'siallah kau tengok jedtu, pakai seluar macam nak kena bantai siul'
'eh kau tau, semalam macam sial ah'
'sialah, air tumpah kat seluar aku lah sial'
'si sial itu macam sial pat aku lah sial. abih siallah, aku tak buat ape-apelah sial'.
it's irritating when i hear it 50 times a day. no offence, but it's annoying, go get another word will you. please.
i am more comfortable with new shawl and black cover thing, than the old one, just because it's easier. you'd just have to accept it i guess, but okay, i'll see if i can get a non shiny one, deal?
im done doing mundane things everyday. im just done.
and i have no idea of what.