do you know, i could not stop crying after i discovered everything has disappeared. i could not stop cursing notsodear-brother either because i was so angry (more like raging mad) at him. i wanted to physically hurt him, cut off his balls while he's sleeping or something, but my parents were around heh. figuratively of course, lest someone calls the police and rats on my thought crime.
do you know, i cried in front of the comp with my parents present and they did not ask anything. i feel glad about that because then they wouldnt intrude. i think they just brush it off as pms. ahhh, the things i can escape doing.
do you know, im not sure i can take the work anymore for i want something serious. not something i am so blatantly unattached for that i dont have any qualms about leaving.
do you know, i miss the starbucks days but i am too busy trying to put my life into sizeable pieces. yes i admit, we've all done wrong, but what the hey, i still want to spend that 3days with you people in another country because that's what we've always wanted to do since before O's. and this is exciting finally an adventure. distance and not meeting doesnt make us strangers, who says we dont love each other.
do you know, never tell me i am too busy with my matair because im not. ask him why dont you. i am just busy doing some stuff i need to sort out. i was taken aback by that but heck, if you want to know what im busy about, call ask sms me. dont assume.
do you know, im tired of playing mindless games. i want to be life.
do you know how stoopid i feel seeing how 3 fucking long years of my life is gone because all the proof i have of these 3 educational years are a certificate, pictures and all the work that ive done. but now i only have a certificate still rolled up in red scroll thingy.
do you know, i dont exactly know what to do now. i have nothing to show myself- im a loser who officially have more problems than solutions. cheering up without food or money is hard work.
games arent working, i feel like crying again.