i believe in fate. from God.
not from your actions.
so when i tell you (all these while) ive been dissing and kutuk-ing people who wear the tudung but then take it out when they go out and now someone close to me is doing the very thing i fucking hate, please dont tell me it's karma.
it's wrong decisions and unhealthy choices and influences.
it's rebelling and freedom and being ready.
it is not coming around to get me, because it doesnt make sense.
it is true that i detest when someone wears the tudung, then takes it off when going out; being on an espionage mission to hide the tudung and clothes and then running away from relatives in case they spot you like that. i detest it simply because what you're doing is wrong. i dont hate that person. they might have a reason, however stoopid the reason may be.
i just hate the actions. now, it's important for me to state all this because person-very-close-to-me may be reading, and i want to tell her some things that im just too perplexed to say it out loud.
yes what can i say, i am disappointed. not because you dont want to wear it (not entirely anyway) but because you dont have the guts to actually stand up for yourself. i may be a coward but when it comes to my life and doing the things i want, i stood up to them and tell them. she's right, you have to stand up for what you believe in.
i am a little bit angry that you didnt bring it up earlier. because earlier would have been easier. and easier is sometimes the way to go. i am sad that you cannot tell me and i had to find it out for myself. i knew since, erm 2 years ago. all the lies you've told me, and here i thought i could trust you. i feel like such a fool.
i am somewhat relieved that the lies will stop. and now im thinking what will become of you? it's like a moral resignation to me, although it just might be another black cloth to you.
dont ask but i am feeling quite disgusted. to look at the people who do that and then to look at you is just... unnerving. you're not ready, i get you. you want to live it out some more, i get you too. it doesnt make restrict you, you know. oooh, but who am i to say, im just another person with a little authority telling you what to do.
what are you going to tell them when they ask?
how are you gonna avoid the gossipers, and the people who just love scandal?
when is all these gonna happen and you be relieved of your nuisance?
and how are we all gonna hide our heads when all these are happening?
so now face it, like the woman you try hard to be.
the wrath might not be great, but you'll get what you want.
and that is what you want is it not?
only thing left to do is fight back the critics.
you know. people like me. aint nothing left to do but doing and erm, explaining.
knock yourself out.