i tend to get happy when im stressed. and then i get sad because im just happy. i sing when im worried, i dance when im just too busy. i run around when im tired and i walk around barefoot when im in deep thought. i miss you when you're not around, and then when you're right beside me, i ignore you and pretend you're not there, just because i want to keep the emotions of missing you longer. i stone when i have nothing in my mind. i talk loudly when everybody's yelling at each other and i keep quiet when im too happy. i cry when i feel blessed. i say a prayer when i feel that ive sinned. i jump around when i dont want to pee, and then cross my legs when i do want to. i fake my laughs when im in pain. and i do my work when im angry. i didnt want to hug you because it didnt feel sincere. i hate you for making me feel like chickenshit over and over again. when im angry, i try not to speak for fear of saying the wrong things and then apologizing for them (the wrong things i said) because i dont want to apologise anymore. iloveyou but sometimes you just make it hard for me to. i love her because she's still with me even all those shit and we still make time for each other and that's how it should be.
i dont want to say sorry because you always expect me to, as if it's my own fault when it's not. it's not. not this time.