this week was one of those weeks that will be etched in my mind when i leave school. this week is neither good nor bad, it's another. just another. saturday n sunday has come but it's not time for me to jump up and celebrate: that'll be hard, hur hur hur. things are not normal when it comes to my life. i complicate it, knowingly or unknowingly.
that's not something to laugh about, it just has been all the time. i wished i was in somebody else's shoes, in some other remote country; probably married to someone waaaaaaay older and already having kids. this week wasnt one of those weeks, and really, that's something i appreciate. though im not sure who/what i appreciate, heh. thing is, this week didnt go like a breeze either.
i dont like ambivalence-something im experiencing now.
so what if you're just 5 words in my thoughts? doesnt mean you mean less you know? if anything, you mean more. im just ever so sweet, i baked it in cakes for you. walking home with you is the most relaxing thing after a very stressful day. can we go now?
i hope there'll be a day when i have my lightbulb moment. right now, im not sure if i can go anywhere. im not sure if im good enough until i feel good enough about myself, about everything.
watching the tick tick ticks of the clock wasnt what i had in mind; i thought i had it down, as sure as Mr. sun never missing its appointment with us.
can i go now?