i am scared to sleep because i am afraid i wont wake up in the morning. dont ask me where this fear is coming from, it just is there or here, which ever way you're looking at it. im scared shitless right now and im effing tired, but every time i close my eyes, thoughts of me not waking up in the morning and not doing what i plan to do in life surfaces over and over again. my right toe is feeling a little tingly. tears are gathering as i type and i wonder if tonight's really my last night or am i just being the paranoid saddened freak that i am? hmmm.. i'd rather be paranoid. when i think about Him, and about hell, i know im not ready to go just yet.